Perspective is key...

A month or so ago, I watched an episode of Grey's Anatomy and Meredith Grey's monologue in the beginning really stuck with me:

"These are the things we beg for. A root canal, an I.R.S. audit, coffee spilled on our clothes. When the really terrible things happen, we start begging the god we don't believe in to bring back the little horrors, and take away this. It seems quaint now, doesn't it? The flood in the kitchen, the poison oak, the fight that leaves you shaking with rage. Would it've helped if we could see what else was coming? Would we have known that those were the best moments of our lives?"

It reminded me of all the times I have had a minor cold and found myself whining and complaining at how awful I felt, until some time later I would come down with the flu and learned what it feels like to actually be sick.. Then I end up apologizing to a higher being for all the times I complained about the insignificant things and begging for relief from all the aches and pains. The weird part is that when those silly colds come along, I find myself calling out of work or going home early, but when something really knocks me down, I fight like hell to keep going.. How backwards is that?!?

This has been a particularly rough year for me and I have a strange feeling 2011 will always be my reference point (like the flu) when I start to feel like life is just not fair from this point forward. My motivation this year has been, "If I can make it to 2012, everything will be just fine". For those of you who know me, you know why this is the case, for those of you who don't.. You are not meant to be in the loop :)

The sad thing is.. No matter how bad things seem, someone else has it worse.. But comparison is never the answer.. No one likes to spill their guts about what's wrong in their life only to hear someone else try to show them up.. Although, for some reason, that seems to be human nature. We all try to dance on someone else's stage when they are having their moment, thinking it will help them in some way.. I know I am guilty of the same, but I try really hard not to do it.

Christmas time has a way of warming my heart and making me feel like everything is going to be just fine.. It's something about being around those who love you truly unconditionally.. i.e. Grandparents. I know that I do no wrong in the eyes of my grandparents and they treat me like gold. I can confess all of my mistakes to them and they still love me all the same and forgive me so easily.. I wish I could give them the world and I hope that one day I will be a grandparent so that I can feel the way they do about me :) My only living grandfather is going through radiation treatments right now and it is knocking him down and that breaks my heart.. and once again, it puts all of my minor problems into perspective... Makes me realize that I need to focus on what I do have in life, rather than what I don't have.. I'd go through a hundred more 2011's if it would help my grandparents to have a better life, but unfortunately, we don't get to engage in those kinds of trades.. So, instead, I will focus on showing those who love me that I love them as well and hope to bring some extra happiness to their lives.

Perspective really is key... "We don't see things as they are, we see them as we are". ~Anaïs Nin